IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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Insects
Use synonyms
 eating, some people might think
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 horrifying or
disgustin
Correct your spelling
disgusting
. The truth is, in Asia, where I came from,
Use synonyms
insect eating
Add a hyphen
insect-eating
show examples
 can be as much as an enjoyable and beneficial thing. There are many different
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
insects
Use synonyms
, some of them are edible and some are not, even some are
posionous
Correct your spelling
poisonous
. For those ones we can eat,
for example
Linking Words
,
scorpion
Use synonyms
, a
populor
Correct your spelling
popular
 kind of
insect
Use synonyms
 we like to eat,
also
Linking Words
 my personal
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
, is a great option to start with. If you've ever been to China, you can notice that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 fried
scorpion
Use synonyms
 snacks in every food corner. To eat the
scorpion
Use synonyms
, of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
show examples
 we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 eat it raw, all you need to do is cut the tail part, where the
scorpion
Use synonyms
 store
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 venom, deep fry it till cooked, sprinkle some salt or other spices,
then
Linking Words
 it will be ready to serve. It
taste
Change the verb form
tastes
show examples
 like nothing but crunchy chicken to me, very delicious, and full of protein too.
Also
Linking Words
, not just the taste, proved by some medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, eating
Use synonyms
scorpion
Fix the agreement mistake
scorpions
show examples
 will
also
Linking Words
 help with some
diease
Correct your spelling
disease
ideas
. Another kind of
insect
Use synonyms
 you can see on
dinner
Add an article
the dinner
a dinner
show examples
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 in China is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the locust
show examples
locust
Fix the agreement mistake
locusts
show examples
, the recipe
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cooking
Add an article
the cooking
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a locust
show examples
locust
Fix the agreement mistake
locusts
show examples
 is basically the same as cooking
Use synonyms
scorpion
Correct article usage
a scorpion
show examples
. As you already know,
Use synonyms
locust
Fix the agreement mistake
locusts
show examples
 are peste. They do nothing but harm
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our crops, destroying
eveything
Correct your spelling
everything
 they pass through.
Eathing
Correct your spelling
Eating
 them is a good way to control or even eliminate
locust
Use synonyms
 populations. Some people believe that eating
insects
Use synonyms
 will break the
balence
Correct your spelling
balance
 between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and nature. One thing you should know is that the
insects
Use synonyms
 we are eating now are all
growed
Correct your spelling
grown
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
insect
Use synonyms
 farm, where the purpose of these
insects
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 for people to eat, just like pigs or chicken we eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. It does not negatively affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. In conclusion, I think there are more benefits than drawbacks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the matter of edible
insects
Use synonyms
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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