Some people think that job satisfaction is more important then job security while others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few people believe being happy with their career is more significant than their job stability,
while
others think job security is the main priority for their living. But for me, I believe the major priority of living value comes from the contentment with a current profession that surpasses a permanent career position, and I am going to explain why.
Firstly
, Some crowds believe that a permanent position is the most crucial factor in their lives.
due to
overall
financial stability, They believe without sufficient money support, there are only a few chances to gain daily content in their life. So
without
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career security easily leads crowds to feel like chasing after daily spending
such
as college debts, medical insurance household maintenance , and so on.
Moreover
, they
also
believe that there are numerous opportunities and resources to encourage their happiness other than position satisfaction, including, taking some courses to gain knowledge, and participating in various outdoor or indoor hobbies.
On the other hand
, I believe the level of professional contentment is the first priority for their living values, and there are several reasons why. Without their job satisfaction, it would decrease their work ethic to make poor decisions on their tasks.
Moreover
, people would eventually quit their careers because of their poor mental health conditions like depression or stress from their unpleasant workplace.
lastly
, even if folks can start their dream operation with a low income, they will eventually gain higher payment
due to
building up experience. In conclusion, I believe being happy with folks' current positions should be the most essential factor in their life in the long term, even though few crowds believe that permanent positions are important to a crowd because of financial stability.
Submitted by eunheaimo92 on

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task response
Please ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and fully developed. Make sure to bring specific examples that support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are relevant and generally well-supported. However, work on connecting your ideas more cohesively and structuring your essay logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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