Some people think that job satisfaction is more important then job security while others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few people believe being happy with their career is more significant than their job stability,

while

others think job security is the main priority for their living. But for me, I believe the major priority of living value comes from the contentment with a current profession that surpasses a permanent career position, and I am going to explain why.

Firstly

, Some crowds believe that a permanent position is the most crucial factor in their lives.

due to

overall

financial stability, They believe without sufficient money support, there are only a few chances to gain daily content in their life. So

without

Change preposition

apply

show examples

career security easily leads crowds to feel like chasing after daily spending

such

as college debts, medical insurance household maintenance , and so on.

Moreover

, they

also

believe that there are numerous opportunities and resources to encourage their happiness other than position satisfaction, including, taking some courses to gain knowledge, and participating in various outdoor or indoor hobbies.

On the other hand

, I believe the level of professional contentment is the first priority for their living values, and there are several reasons why. Without their job satisfaction, it would decrease their work ethic to make poor decisions on their tasks.

Moreover

, people would eventually quit their careers because of their poor mental health conditions like depression or stress from their unpleasant workplace.

lastly

, even if folks can start their dream operation with a low income, they will eventually gain higher payment

due to

building up experience. In conclusion, I believe being happy with folks' current positions should be the most essential factor in their life in the long term, even though few crowds believe that permanent positions are important to a crowd because of financial stability.

Submitted by eunheaimo92 on Mon May 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Please ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and fully developed. Make sure to bring specific examples that support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas are relevant and generally well-supported. However, work on connecting your ideas more cohesively and structuring your essay logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In the contemporary era, many parents tend to protect their children by not allowing them to have outdoor activities; therefore, many offspring are not interested in discovering nature at their age. However, having knowledge about the environment is essential for children since they can learn to socialize and be creative.
7
band
You ordered a new cheque book from your bank two weeks ago but you have received nothing. Write a letter to the manager complaining about the bad service. Say when and how you ordered the cheque book. Ask how much longer you will have to wait and ask the manager what action he will take over this matter.
I am writing to make a complaint about my chequebook's order. I ordered a new chequebook two weeks ago, but I do not have any response from the Bank. Yesterday I called the Bank but the people who talked with me, could not provide me with anything. This makes me very disappointed with your service.
5
band
A lot of old people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What do you think are the reasons for this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?
Nowadays, many elders have to live alone because their children have to work or have their own family. It is undeniable that many older people suffer from loneliness and lack of activity that could help them to be healthier. From my point of view, there are many reasons for this problem. But this problem also has many sensible solutions, described in the following paragraph.
7.5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Academic background and work experience are two crucial parts of getting qualified for a professional job. Whereas some people believe that getting vocational training is sufficient to secure a job, others are of the view that higher education is the only pathway to a reputable career. I completely agree with the latter opinion because, in my perspective, university education has become an eligible mandatory criterion to select efficient candidates. The justification for my stance will be further demonstrated in the lines below.
8.5
band
It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is widely believed that people do not necessarily need to pay attention to international events unless they have direct impacts on them. However, in my opinion, it is significant to be aware of events happening around the globe because we can still have indirect effects and we can come up with reliable measures when we are faced with similar issues.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important then job security while others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A lot of old people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What do you think are the reasons for this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?