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Band 4.5

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
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When it comes to teaching
children
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,
people
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 have different opinions about whether competition should be put into their
head
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heads
show examples
in
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at
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their
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an
show examples
 early age, while others argue that rather than competing
each
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with each
show examples
 other they should be
teached
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taught
show examples
 to interrupt and help each other. In my opinion, I am more prefer
with
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apply
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the
later
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latter
show examples
 one because by teaching co-operation to them in their childhood, they will become reasonable and understandable
with
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to
show examples
 everyone when they become adults. There are many benefits of getting teamwork habits
in
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at
show examples
their
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a
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 young age.
Firstly
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, there are more likely to have less jealousy in co-operative
people
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 as they are all together working hard to achieve their goals. But what if adults teach young
people
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 to compete with each other in their childhood age, there are possibilities that their innocent mind can be stained with jealousy which is the
wrost
Correct your spelling
worst
 feeling that can take their host into the dark and bad things and nobody should have.
Also
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, they will know how to communicate with each other and negotiate with their parents or elders to get the things
what
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that
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 they want peacefully.
Lastly
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, they can be successful and lovely leaders whose employees respect because everybody
love
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loves
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 the person who
have
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has
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 the most skill in teamwork in
business
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the business
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 field.
On the other hand
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, I think competition
have
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has
show examples
 some advantages
in
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on
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 its own.
To begin
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 with,
children
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 who have the will of competing are the ones who try harder and harder to get their goals meet.
Therefore
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, they will not get easily bored and will not be lazy over something that can disturb them.
Moreover
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, they always look upon their rivals to not get lower marks or
beaten
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be beaten
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 by them. So it has the most strong effect
in
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on
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motiviations
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motivations
motivation
 for
children
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 will lead
children
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 to depressing
emotion
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emotions
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 when they cannot achieve a better result with high
expectation
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expectations
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. Overall, it can be said that cooperation can lead
to
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apply
show examples
children
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 to become better leaders and competition is the best to get
motivations
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motivation
show examples
 for young
people
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.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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