IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some working parents believe children centres can provide the best care for children while others think other family members like grandparents can do this job discuss both sides and give your opinion

#parents #children #centres #care #members #grandparents #job
Nowadays, it is no doubt that working parents all around the world are getting busier than before. We can see the phenomenon that some parents who are busy at work choose
children
's centres for babysitting, while others consider other family members as perfection. As far as I am concerned, I think the decision of choosing relatives is more reasonable.
Firstly
, persuasive arguments can be found from those who support
children
's centres. In fact,
children
's centres create a superior social environment and atmosphere for
kids
, since it is possible for the heir to access more social communication opportunities by getting along with contemporaries.
For example
, a kid who has the opportunity to be taken
care
 of by a sophisticated
children
's centre could have access to a better situation for them to cultivate their communicative skills. after knowing the means of sharing and cooperation, they are definitely going to adapt to the social surroundings and grow into socially well-adjusted individuals. Opponents,
however
, argue that choosing a household is a better choice because houses pay more attention to
children
.
For instance
, there normally exist some situations where grandparents are needed to take
care
 of merely one child, plus due to the consanguinity, relatives, especially grandparents would prefer to take
care
 of
kids
.
In contrast
,
kids
 gain more concentration than in
children
's centres， due to the fact that the number of teachers is limited so they are too busy to focus on every child.
Furthermore
, taking
care
 of
kids
 will create more communication opportunities which have a beneficial effect on their growing environment between family members, and it is instrumental in their mental health. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against babysitting choices， but I believe that choosing relatives to do the job is definitely the best choice.
Submitted by 15546322798 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: