Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, some
people
tend to
work
for several months a year and spend
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on leisure things. While others believe that it’s necessary to keep a full-
time
job
to fulfil family needs. To me, both views have their own benefits,
this
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In this
show examples
essay I will discuss
this
topic from
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
and confirm my own opinion. On one hand,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of society and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
has changed in recent decades,
people
have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to choose their lifestyle.
Firstly
, some
people
are able to
work
for a flexible occupation due to the nature of their
job
is easy to allocate working
time
.
In particular
, the self-media owner, who
work
together with
customer
Add an article
the customer
show examples
to select
product
Add an article
a product
the product
show examples
, promote branding and host online sales during peak season, like The Black Friday in west countries, and double eleven shopping festival in China, the high return to self-media KOL allow them
work
Add the particle
to work
show examples
for several months a year and release them to enjoy rest of
time
for leisure.
Secondly
, some
people
prefer to keep
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
show examples
balance, they lower their desirable
on
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for
show examples
Add an article
the material
show examples
material
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materials
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to exchange free
time
to
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for
show examples
more care about their health physically and mentally.
Lastly
, artists tend to teach three days per week in school,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
they try different things to light up inspiration, which would support
for
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apply
show examples
art creation to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
Add an article
a dream
the dream
show examples
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artistical
Replace the word
artistic
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some
people
not only
work
for earning money or
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
artistic
pursuit
Fix the agreement mistake
pursuits
show examples
but
also
work
based on a sense of responsibility.
For example
,
people
work
as
doctor
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doctors
show examples
,
teacher
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teachers
show examples
and soldiers, their
job
indispensably should rate at the highest ranking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society since they are saving
life
Add an article
a life
show examples
, educating children and protecting
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
of the country.
Furthermore
,
full-
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
time
job
is suitable for
people
who get married with kids,
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
income by
Correct article usage
a full
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full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
job
is important for a family to buy
nutrition
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nutritious
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food or promote study
skill
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skills
show examples
for kids. In conclusion, both of those choices have their own reasons and contribute the same to society, human
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
free to make their decision upon on for themselves, which type of
work
they prefer.
Submitted by yell00 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
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