Somew people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the mostr successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Diccuss both views and give your opinion.
It is believed that individual money makers are the most successful,
whereas
others consider that society contributors, such
as scientists and tutors are much more successful than the former. This
essay reckons that wealthy individuals' success is logical and may be correct, whilst the latter is more insightful and is the best option in terms of morality.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why the vast majority of people
consider that highly profiting workers aim their goals. Firstly
there is no doubt that the rich can allow themselves to gain luxurious and expensive brand items, like jewellery, vehicles, food, and closing
. Correct your spelling
clothing
Secondly
, it is obvious that employees who are financially stable are in a high position in a large company. For example
, it is much easier to open own business and run it for such
people
, as well as
successful start-ups, which will improve the economy of the country
.
On the other hand
, the importance of contributors to society cannot be denied, since the wealthy are the scientists and teachers'
result of their contribution to the development of the Change noun form
teachers
country
and the future generations. It means that rich people
are prosperous thanks to the teachers who teach economics and scientists
money forecast, reflecting Change noun form
scientists'
scientist's
in
the development of the Change preposition
apply
country
. For example
, people
are taught to read economic forecasts for changes in the currency.
To conclude
, this
essay believes that although
a large amount of money allows you to get expensive things and improve the economy of the country
with start-ups, the real success lies in those who invest in the development of society and future generations.Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on
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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors in the essay, including articles, tense, and agreement errors. The range of sentence structures is also limited.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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