Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

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this

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contemporary era, the usage of cosmetics

products

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has surged than ever. Both males and females invest a Hefty amount in personal

appearance

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However

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this

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practice was not popular in the past. There are multiple factors responsible for

this

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trend, which are resulting in a number of alarming consequences that should be highlighted and addressed at the earliest by finding

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some appropriate solutions.

To begin

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with, the technological advancement in the current world is way upgraded as compared to the past, offering a wide range of

beauty

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products

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and skin treatments. These modern

beauty

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gizmos lead

people

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to spend money on themselves in order to change their

appearance

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On the other hand

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, in the past,

such

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technologies were either non-existent or less advanced.

Moreover

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, media influence plays a vital role in fostering

this

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trend. Modern media and social platforms constantly show idealized

beauty

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standards, encouraging individuals to utilize their company's

products

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to meet their expectations. To cite an example, lip shading treatment has been in Trend recently, and

people

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blindly

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the same because more and more

people

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post their eye-catching results on their social media. Among the consequences of the

concerned

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

problem, the first possible outcome is that the excessive usage of cosmetic care may ruin natural

appearance

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as these treatments and

products

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often contain chemicals and acids that lead to severe skin diseases

such

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as cancer and pigmentation.

Apart from

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this

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, huge investment in

Beauty

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care makes

people

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extravagant,

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

people

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to live life under heavy payments and loans.

For example

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according to

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the market survey 2023 in New York City, both men and women spend around 1.80 million dollars monthly on their

appearance

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. In conclusion, spending money on

beauty

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care is Justified by the corporate industry. I believe that

people

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should nourish their skin through diet and naturally

instead

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of spending huge amounts on chemical-based

products

Use synonyms

rajwants.1997Thu Jun 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

To strengthen the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This can be done using transitional phrases or words like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' etc.

task achievement

Provide more relevant examples to substantiate the points made. Ensure the examples are directly linked to the main ideas discussed in the essay.

grammar vocabulary

Be careful with small typos and grammar errors. For instance, 'a Hefty amount' should be 'a hefty amount' and 'Justified' should be 'justified'. Consistent use of correct grammar and capitalization will enhance clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic thoroughly and provides a complete response by discussing both causes and consequences of the trend.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, summarizing the main points and providing a clear end to the essay.

task achievement

The main points are relevant and supported through examples and explanations, particularly the ones related to technological advancements and media influence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Your opinion

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?