The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent you agree or disagree

There are many causes that make individuals
work
hard in their lives . Some believe that the main cause of it is to earn
money
. I refuse the idea that earning
money
is the primary cause why
people
work
hard. It is a fact that
people
tend to get enough income when they
work
hard in their fields. It is because by working seriously and thoroughly,
people
will get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
as well as decent
money
.
Furthermore
, in some leading companies, extra
work
will be rewarded
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
additional
money
as
bonus
Add an article
a bonus
show examples
for their
employees
that have worked very hard.
For instance
,
employees
in the factory will get more bonuses if they can finish more jobs and
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
to take extra time outside their regular job time.
Therefore
, some
people
state that when they want to get more
money
as compensation, they have to
work
harder.
On the other hand
,
money
is not the only primary cause why
people
work
so well in their subjects. It is because the satisfaction feeling of the
employees
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their jobs will make them eager to
work
harder without thinking about the compensation.
Moreover
,
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
feeling of the
employees
can motivate them to give their best performances for the sake of the
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
or wherever places they
work
.
For example
,
employees
work
hard
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
without thinking about their salaries only as they feel happy with their jobs.
Hence
,
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
level of the
employees
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a crucial role
why
Change preposition
in why
show examples
they
work
hard for their employers. To conclude,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
refuse the idea that
money
is the main reason why
people
work
hard. It is true that
money
is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
factor
Add the particle
to factor
show examples
for many individuals, but the
satisfcation
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
level regarding
people
's job
also
play a significant role in motivating them to
work
hard in their fields.
Submitted by deeboy2332 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: