IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent you agree or disagree

#reason #people #work #money
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There are many causes that make individuals
work
Use synonyms
 hard in their lives . Some believe that the main cause of it is to earn
money
Use synonyms
. I refuse the idea that earning
money
Use synonyms
 is the primary cause why
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard. It is a fact that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to get enough income when they
work
Use synonyms
 hard in their fields. It is because by working seriously and thoroughly,
people
Use synonyms
 will get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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 as well as decent
money
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in some leading companies, extra
work
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 will be rewarded
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 additional
money
Use synonyms
 as
bonus
Add an article
a bonus
show examples
 for their
employees
Use synonyms
 that have worked very hard.
For instance
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
 in the factory will get more bonuses if they can finish more jobs and
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to take extra time outside their regular job time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 state that when they want to get more
money
Use synonyms
 as compensation, they have to
work
Use synonyms
 harder.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is not the only primary cause why
people
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work
Use synonyms
 so well in their subjects. It is because the satisfaction feeling of the
employees
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their jobs will make them eager to
work
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 harder without thinking about the compensation.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
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 feeling of the
employees
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 can motivate them to give their best performances for the sake of the
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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 or wherever places they
work
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 without thinking about their salaries only as they feel happy with their jobs.
Hence
Linking Words
,
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
 level of the
employees
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play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial role
why
Change preposition
in why
show examples
 they
work
Use synonyms
 hard for their employers. To conclude,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 refuse the idea that
money
Use synonyms
 is the main reason why
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard. It is true that
money
Use synonyms
 is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
factor
Add the particle
to factor
show examples
 for many individuals, but the
satisfcation
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 level regarding
people
Use synonyms
's job
also
Linking Words
 play a significant role in motivating them to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in their fields.
Submitted by deeboy2332 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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