IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. Your friend recently moved to the same town where your friend lives. Please write a letter to invite your friend to go to the gym together. In your letter o describe why you go to this gym o say what part of this gym you recommend o explain why you think it is suitable for your friend

#friend #town #lives #gym #part
Hi Dave, It was
an astonishing news
Remove the article
astonishing news
a piece of astonishing news
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 to hear that you have moved to my town. It's been a long time
we
Correct word choice
since we
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 haven't met each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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. Since I heard you are looking
a
Change preposition
for a
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place to train for your fitness, I'd like you to recommend a gym nearby my house. I have been working out there for a year. It's really affordable and 24-hour accessible. The owner and the trainers are
also
 well behaved and good disciplined guys. That's the main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 why I love to go there. I was wondering
my
Change preposition
about my
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 development after joining that gym as their instructions and equipment are insane. Especially, dead-lift calories burn session
is highly recommend
Change the verb form
is highly recommended
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.
As
Change preposition
From
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 my experience, it will really
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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for
Change preposition
apply
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you too. It owns
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 shower and changing rooms
also
. So, you don't need to worry about the way back home with dirty clothes. It would be a great choice because you can take some rest at my house after the gym sessions.
Moreover
, we can get some good times
of
Change preposition
apply
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playing games as we had in our colleague time. All the best, Tun Naung Win
Submitted by tunnaungwin11 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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