IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#country #health #service #treatments
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Health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
service
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 has become more serious in nowaday's society. Some folk say that the cost of treatment should be charged freely to the public, whether it can involve the latest medical intervention or not. In my opinion, I agree that basic
health
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care
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 should be provided by the government. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline the reasons
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my perspective with relative examples.
Firstly
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, the wealth of the city depends on the
health
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 of
citizens
Correct pronoun usage
its citizens
show examples
.
For instance
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, people can only earn money when they have a healthy body. If the law-maker can not ensure people enjoy a free
health
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service
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, it may eliminate the ability of profit-making of the workers.
Secondly
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, providing free
health
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 services to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is the responsibility
to
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of
show examples
 the governors.
For example
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,
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 have relatively less working ability to make money to cover
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 cost of
health
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Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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. If those fees can be covered by the
fundings
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funding
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, it can
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the social responsibility to take
care
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 of the group of minority and the poor.
However
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, on the negative side, providing free
health
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care
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 services to everyone can increase the burden
of
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on
show examples
 the government. It may affect other social services' spending, like education. Since public resources are limited, legislators should think carefully about how to spend their money.
However
Linking Words
, I think the
importancy
Correct your spelling
importance
 is greater in providing free
health
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care
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Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 since everything
is start
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starts
show examples
from
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with
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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good
health
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. In conclusion, I agree that every country should ensure their citizen
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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enjoy a free public
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it is the responsibility of the local government to ensure everyone can receive life protection fairly.
Also
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, through
this
Linking Words
 action, the
competetiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
 of its country can be maintained as it indirectly improved the
health
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 condition
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the citizen that reinforced their working ability.
Submitted by cheung19940213 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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