IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Being interested in becoming independent, many parents believe that their upbringings should work during schooling whereas others, including me, are not in favour of acquiring money and education, simultaneously. In the following essay, both pros and cons will be elaborated on. Perhaps, the most outstanding achievement is about having a source of revenue.
This
Linking Words
 way, the pupils would become self-made as soon as possible. Still better, the sooner one works, the more experienced one would be and
this
Linking Words
 will be helpful in their future. By far, if an individual works while studying, he or she will be more organized. As a vivid instance,
such
Linking Words
 students could utilize their opportunities best and have regular scheduling daily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the opposers are of the opinion that being busy during acquirement makes trainees lazy as these intervals diminish their perseverance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, earning money may cause them to cease school sooner and
this
Linking Words
 affects their future, unwantedly. Above all, these labourers are paid less than usual as they are low skill and are considered unqualified so not only would
this
Linking Words
 shrink their confidence but
also
Linking Words
 its bad effects could stick in their minds, inevitably. To recap the main points from what was mentioned above, it is claimed that regardless of being independent and self-made, it would be better to let them keep on studying
instead
Linking Words
 of having distractions while educating and decreasing their self-esteem.
Submitted by saghar2164 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: