Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, with the widespread of
supermarkets
in some nations, many small local businesses are at risk of disappearing. While
it is believed that the collapse of these local shops will cause
a significant impact on society, I indeed hold that Verb problem
have
this
type of work is the livelihood of many families, so its closure will mean the backward evolvement of many communities
.
Firstly
, a lot of developed countries completely embraced the rapid expansion of big shops and considered them as a way of showing the industry development. Moreover
, Supermarkets
are likely to have lower prices, and they are deemed more convenient. For instance
, a person can find all his desired items in one Supermarket instead
of going around multiple small shops. However
, this
colossal development overshadowed groceries
stores Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
that
many families Correct word choice
and
gain
their wagesWrong verb form
gained
from
, resulting in the rise of unemployment rates in local Change preposition
apply
communities
, which can affect the
economic growth as well.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, this
new trend is a threat to many shop owners and those who are willing to start a new business
. In other words
, Supermarkets
raised the standards of marketing that many young adults can't handle and are too afraid to risk
and launch a company Wrong verb form
risks
that is
condemned to fail before its
Correct pronoun usage
it
start
. Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
This
means that local communities
are losing their brains and the chance to develop. For example
, many youngsters are leaving their hometowns in the hope of finding better opportunities elsewhere
. Therefore
, this
new development doesn't only break the ambition of many young people to own a business
, but it also
affects the societies' thriving.
In conclusion, the competition between Supermarkets
and local businesses is unfear and overwhelming to small business
owners. Some people, namely me, hold that this
new culture has counterproductive results on the local communities
, leading to increased unemployment rates as well as
oppressing young adults' dreams of starting a new business
.Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
To improve task response, make sure to directly address all aspects of the question prompt, provide a clear stance, and support it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas logically with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, use linking words to connect ideas, and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!