Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, with the widespread of
supermarkets
Use synonyms
in some nations, many small local businesses are at risk of disappearing.
While
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it is believed that the collapse of these local shops will
cause
Verb problem
have
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a significant impact on society, I indeed hold that
this
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type of work is the livelihood of many families, so its closure will mean the backward evolvement of many
communities
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.
Firstly
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, a lot of developed countries completely embraced the rapid expansion of big shops and considered them as a way of showing the industry development.
Moreover
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,
Supermarkets
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are likely to have lower prices, and they are deemed more convenient.
For instance
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, a person can find all his desired items in one Supermarket
instead
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of going around multiple small shops.
However
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,
this
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colossal development overshadowed
groceries
Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
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stores
that
Correct word choice
and
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many families
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
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their wages
from
Change preposition
apply
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, resulting in the rise of unemployment rates in local
communities
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, which can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth as well.
Secondly
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,
this
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new trend is a threat to many shop owners and those who are willing to start a new
business
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.
In other words
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,
Supermarkets
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raised the standards of marketing that many young adults can't handle and are too afraid to
risk
Wrong verb form
risks
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and launch a company
that is
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condemned to fail before
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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.
This
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means that local
communities
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are losing their brains and the chance to develop.
For example
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, many youngsters are leaving their hometowns in the hope of finding better opportunities
elsewhere
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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new development doesn't only break the ambition of many young people to own a
business
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, but it
also
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affects the societies' thriving. In conclusion, the competition between
Supermarkets
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and local businesses is unfear and overwhelming to small
business
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owners. Some people, namely me, hold that
this
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new culture has counterproductive results on the local
communities
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, leading to increased unemployment rates
as well as
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oppressing young adults' dreams of starting a new
business
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to directly address all aspects of the question prompt, provide a clear stance, and support it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas logically with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, use linking words to connect ideas, and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • local communities
  • wider range of products
  • convenience
  • unique character
  • personalized customer service
  • unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • traditional skills
  • craftsmanship
  • support
  • local economy
  • decline
  • community spirit
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