IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Universities should an accept equal numbers of male and female students in evening subject to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #accept #numbers #students
Many people think that the same number of men and women should be accepted into
university
. I tend to disagree with the idea, and
this
 essay will explore my opinion on the benefits for
university
 and
society
 and improving the situation of families. Undoubtedly, all people should get a degree course based on their ability and talent.
However
, it is beneficial for
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 and
society
.
This
 idea will improve the highest academic level, and it
also
 helps
maintains
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 the best level of education. Some fields of universities like nursing need girls more than boys; If they were selected based on equal gender, it would not be fair.
Also
,
Also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
this
 selection of talents brings more progress to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
for example
, A woman in a managerial position with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 education is usually better than a man who lacks a
University
 Degree and is without competence in every place
such
 as offices.
In addition
,
this
 idea can be crucial to perfecting the lives of families. Gender discrimination is usually not good in the community, so males and females are equal in all of their lives. Education and participation in
university
 programs based on the competence of individuals can be a prelude to non-discrimination in all matters of life, especially in the family.
Moreover
, it will lead to an increase in the presence of women in
society
 compared to today and the better
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
upbringing of children because more intelligence and awareness, especially for the mother in the family, often can cause better thinking in family management and the nurture of children. In conclusion,
university
 selection should be based on merits; it would be unfair
according to
 gender. It can have positive effects and lead to better circumstances for people in
society
,
university
, and family.
Submitted by hooman_hz121 on

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task response
Ensure that your supporting points directly relate to the topic and provide clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating stronger connections between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
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