IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much money that person has

#measure #someone #success #money #person
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Nowadays it is argued that
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 equals wealth.
Although
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 there are some
caseswhich
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cases which
 fits
this
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 theory, you can find noticeable examples which are not fitted by
this
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 view. so it would be better to have a look at both sides of the argument. On one hand, we have rich and really
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 people.
For example
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 CEO of Amazon is an outstanding case which supports
this
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 idea. It is widely accepted that profession and
cocentration
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concentration
brings
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bring
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 good income is usually is a natural consequence of
hard
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 and studying, while you are at school ages. Looking at
financial
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the financial
show examples
statement
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
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 of dentists is a supportive fact for
this
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 point of view. Studying late at night and visiting
huge
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a huge
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 amount of patients in clinics brings the
opportuniy
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opportunity
 to medical students to expect offices which are check-a-block of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 and obviously a high income at the end.
On the other hand
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, there were so many
sucessful
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successful
 people who never
experince
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experience
 wealth in their life. Nicola Tesla, who is
father
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the father
a father
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 of so many inventions in recent decades, passed away while he didn't have
adequete
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adequate
money
Use synonyms
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
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normal nutrition. As another
evidence
Correct quantifier usage
piece of evidence
show examples
, I can mention Mother Teresa. without any doubt, she was one of the most prominent characters in contemporary history.
However
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, nobody has heard of
a
Change the word
her
show examples
 luxury
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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 of her. To put
in
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it in
show examples
 a nutshell,
although
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 profession and
hard
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hardworking
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working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 may bring
money
Use synonyms
, it is not
guranteed
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
guarantee
 that every effort even
in
Change preposition
for
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long
Add an article
a long
the long
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 period of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 will lead to getting rich. As far as I know, and based on my personal
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
,
money
Use synonyms
 is just one of so many factors describing success.
Submitted by mortezashirsavar92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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