IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

#“prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
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It is argued by many that a better route to the treatment of diseases is to invest more into precautionary measures rather than funding several research projects.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement. I believe that the more effective methods put in place
particularly
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,particularly
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 in the workplace will safeguard people’s health and overall less money will
be spend
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be spent
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 on copious amounts of studies. Employers can protect the well-being of their workers by enforcing certain rules which govern working in a safe environment.
This
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 allows strict guidelines to be adopted by the workforce and company in order that these are followed by employees to prevent any unwanted outcomes regarding their personal well-being. An obvious example of
this
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 is occupational safety and health assessments and procedures which act as a major defence
of
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for
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welfare
Correct article usage
the welfare
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 of the modern workforce Another major factor to consider when expending on preventive measures against diseases is the enormous amount of money ploughed in by the government for studies. A significant proportion of the national budget goes towards subsidising research while other areas of public service
such
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 as education tend to suffer. Take cancer research
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for
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,for
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 example, there is a lot of work and analysis required so that the possibilities of finding cures are higher.
However
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,
this
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 action and its results are not guaranteed and would put massive strains
of
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on
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 national accounts. In conclusion, sinking large sums of money into analytic studies is an extremely costly venture for an economy and the need to finance more
disease preventing
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disease-preventing
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 methods.
Submitted by l_owusu44 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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