. Some people think all young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
pay more attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
education. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that teenagers should stay in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
until they become adults. From my viewpoint,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disagree with the suggestion. As for the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
agree with the side, children are immature enough to have good standards of
behaviors
Fix the agreement mistake
behavior
show examples
. Schools have a clear set of rules to cultivate good hobbies which are good for their futures.
For example
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
like to swear
others
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to others
show examples
to express their rebellion. Schools correct their bad hobbies by punishments
such
Linking Words
as giving them 100 lines. The serious punishment
deter
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deters
show examples
students from yelling rudely at others.
However
Linking Words
, It is a financial matter for some
families
Use synonyms
. In many cases,
people
Use synonyms
need to make money to support their
families
Use synonyms
. It is not reliable to stay in the
school
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
yearly
Correct article usage
the yearly
show examples
income
needy
Change preposition
of needy
show examples
families
Use synonyms
can get usually only is 36,000 yuan.
However
Linking Words
, in China, a college student should spend 8,000 yuan on a year’s tuition. It overburdens
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
families
Use synonyms
. On top of that
people
Use synonyms
have a free right to decide whether they should remain in
school
Use synonyms
or not. Studying should be a bonus but not
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
compulsory stuff.
For example
Linking Words
, it is not wise to focus
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
on people
show examples
who have no talents to keep studying because they will be destroyed
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
by bad grades.
Instead
Linking Words
of
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apply
show examples
,
people
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can spend time
on
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apply
show examples
developing their
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
. They can leave schools and study skills which support their interest elsewhere. In conclusion, whereas
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
education can train children’s right
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, it
overburden
Change the verb form
overburdens
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
needy
families
Use synonyms
. In
additional
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addition
show examples
, if it is
meaningful
Replace the word
meant
show examples
for students to remain the
school
Use synonyms
, fostering their interests is a better choice.
Submitted by youhua94 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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