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Band 5.5

The school day should be shorter Agree or Disagree?

#school
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Education is the core of a person's
life
 and schools help in that but they have their cons. I strongly believe that
academy
time
 must be shor\ter because children that get smaller academic
hours
 have less weight on their shoulders and they get extra family
time
. In ,addition teachers are
also
 benefitted from these standards they have more leisure
time
. Most importantly, the main reason why shorter
academy
time
 is extremely important is that they relieve tension in pupils. Research clearly shows that 95% of
students
 are stressed by
school
!
Furthermore
 70% of those blamed it on academic
hours
 and said that it started too early or ended too late. Stress is an important factor in grades and studies it can make someone's grade drop significantly because it lowers the concentration of
students
. So the only cure is to remove the stress, and shortening
academy
time
 seamlessly removes
this
 problem.
Secondly
, children will get extra opportunity to spend with family. Family
time
 is a very important point in pupils' lives because they can learn many
life
 lessons while schools only teach logical skills. For ,example
students
 with 1-2
hours
 of family
time
 every day are 80% smarter than the kids with no family
time
. As of the 2022 consensus of kids 76% of
students
 had none to 30min of family
time
 the other 24% of
students
 had 1-2
hours
 of family
time
this
 is why they had better marks than the others. Having the right balance between
school
 and family
time
 can improve a pupil's marks significantly. What would you do if you spent no
time
 with your family?
Lastly
, we can't forget the
faculty
 because they are the ones having to spend over 80% of their teaching career dedicated to
students
. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
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 the other 15% is sleeping and taking care of kids and other things. So that leaves only 5% of the
time
 to rest and relax. It's eavesdropping to hear that only 5% of someone's
life
 is relaxing.
Academy
days
 are what take up most of a teacher's
life
. Shortening the
school
days
 can result in fresher and better
faculty
. More importantly better teachers mean better
students
 and better
students
 mean higher achievements. To wrap up, shortening the
school
days
 can come with many advantages
such
 as less stress for
students
 or for extra family
time
. It can
also
 create better
faculty
. Shorter
school
days
 would definitely be appreciated by many
students
, families and
faculty
. So all together
this
 is why academic
time
 should be shorter.
Submitted by Alvin on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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