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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
In modern society, it is true that more and more
people
 prefer to be an entrepreneur than
hire
Change the form of the verb
hired
show examples
 by a
business
. In
this
 essay, I will provide the reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 situation and list
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 why
self-employed
Correct article usage
the self-employed
show examples
 might not
as
Add a missing verb
be as
show examples
 wonderful as
people
 think.
First
 of all,
people
 always think that being a
boss
 themselves can earn more money than earning
salary
Add an article
a salary
show examples
 in a
company
. The truth is, you will have to take risks, responsibilities and
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
the enormous
show examples
 amount of
time
 to ensure your
business
 is on track. Another appealing reason for
people
 who thrive to start a
business
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own is freedom. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees
Add an article
the employees
show examples
 often argue that they need to follow the work
time
 set by the
company
, at least 8 hours a day, sometimes even have to work extra
time
 to have con-calls with their colleagues. If
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 employee chose to be self-employed, he might save
time
 for commuting to the
company
, and he can decide where he works. Most importantly, he has the freedom to decide the working
time
 slot on his own, which is beneficial to either him or his family. The
first
 and foremost disadvantage of being self-employed is the risk of losing stable cash flow. It is easy to earn a stable amount of money when you are working for a
company
 because you get paid every month. As for
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
business
, it is likely the sales figures fluctuate every period, so it’s difficult to predict the sales volume. If you are not keen
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 financial knowledge, which
also
 means you are unable to maintain the cash flow, maybe being an employee can earn more than being a
boss
.
Second
, being self-employed might sacrifice family
time
. Needless to say,
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
business
 needs a lot of effort because you have to plan everything
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 yourself. Being an employee can just work 40 hours a week
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 while being a
boss
 needs to be on-call even on vacation mode. From my perspective, it is unable to divide your personal life and
business
 if you decide to be a
boss
, which means it is unavoidable to sacrifice some family
time
. In conclusion, it is true that more money and freedom excite
people
 to start a
business
 on their own, but the risk of losing stable cash flow and
sacrifice
Wrong verb form
sacrificing
show examples
 family
time
 are the two drawbacks
deter
Correct pronoun usage
that deter
show examples
people
 from being a
boss
.
Submitted by mandyxchueh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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