IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others, however, believe that governments should control the use of fresh water. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #water #governments #control
Without a denying, a widely heated debate as
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 whether
governments
 should control the
use
 of
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 (or not) has received great attention from the public. As for my perspective, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the statement and a myriad of reasons would be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. On the one hand, an array of reasons that
governments
 ought to give citizens the right to
use
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
.
To begin
 with,
water
 is an imperative element for human beings living on the Earth; as a consequence, people cannot live without it and be limited in using the amount of
water
. To put it another way, if people lived on Earth lacking
water
 or were controlled to
use
water
 by
governments
, it would violate human rights.
Secondly
,
water
 is produced by nature and it does not belong to anybody and cannot be a means of control or earning. A study conducted by Cambridge University concluded that over ninety
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
water
 is from rain and iceberg;
as a result
, nobody has the power to have it.
On the contrary
, anyone can arbitrarily
use
water
.
On the other hand
, as far as I am concerned, controlling the
use
 of
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 by
governments
 has more merits.
First
 of all, owing to rare and limited resources, every resource on Earth ought to be cherished and controlled;
therefore
, the government plays a vital role in supervising them.
In other words
, without
governments
 being in charge of
water
, humankind will not have enough clean
water
 in the long run.
Moreover
,
water
that is
 used at homes or factories is purified by
governments
;
additionally
, the process of working and maintenance fees of machines needs large expenditure, so the controlling
use
 of
water
 is reasonable. Take my country as an example. It always lacks
water
 in winter;
as a result
,
governments
 always spend large amounts of money storing
water
 so that
use
 of
water
 is controlled in my nation. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, even though some people are opposed to controlling the
use
 of
water
, I am still deeply in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of government regulations.
Submitted by justin1996lin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Human right
  • Resource scarcity
  • Economic productivity
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Equitable distribution
  • Monopolization
  • Public health
  • Sustainability
  • Government regulation
  • Hygiene
  • Water quality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: