In some countries, there has been an increase in adverstisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other items. Parents often argue that these announcements are unfair. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

#countries #adverstisements #children #snacks #toys #items #parents #announcements #perspectives

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It is often argued by some people that there has been

rise

Add an article

a rise

show examples

in commercials these days which allure

children

to buy

things

while others disagree with

this

. In my opinion, I completely agree with the parents that

this

kind of publicity is inappropriate. Nowadays, media plays a very crucial role in influencing consumers to buy

things

. Undoubtedly, it is profitable for the sellers as their sales will be hiked. Among all the age groups,

children

are the most innocent and they get very easily attracted towards

things

such

as toys, chocolates , snacks etc.

For instance

Change preposition

in a

show examples

recent study on

top selling

Add a hyphen

top-selling

show examples

snacks for kids in The United States Of America, Kinder Joy was found to be

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

popular.

This

is due to their

marketting

Correct your spelling

marketing

stratergies

Correct your spelling

strategies

and advertisements as they have included a toy inside the snack as an add-on to attract more minors and they do spend a huge amount

Change preposition

show examples

promotion

Correct article usage

the promotion

show examples

of their product. So, from a child's perspective commercials definitely persuade them to buy

things

On the other hand

, I completely agree with the parents, that these

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of promotions are unfair for the

children

as they get more motivated to purchase the products,

thus

adding more financial burden on parents. Other

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

that,

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of distractions hamper the studies of

children

. Recent studies have found that there has been a behaviour change in many

children

as they are becoming more demanding nowadays as compared to the past years. Increased publicity of minors product leads to

Add an article

show examples

rise

Change the verb form

rising

show examples

in their desire to obtain that thing and the consequence is

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in their

stubborness

Correct your spelling

stubbornness

. So, advertisements should be

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

but to some limited extent so that they do not

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

with the mindset of a child. In conclusion, in

this

modern era media is very influential in attracting more buyers but in

case

Correct article usage

the case

show examples

of minors

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

should be promoted but only to some extent and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should

also

employ necessary rules pertaining to

this

Submitted by drvishal13 on Mon May 09 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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In some countries, there has been an increase in adverstisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other items. Parents often argue that these announcements are unfair. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than making individuals responsible for that. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement