In some countries, there has been an increase in adverstisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other items. Parents often argue that these announcements are unfair. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

#countries #adverstisements #children #snacks #toys #items #parents #announcements #perspectives

It is often argued by some people that there has been

rise

Add an article

a rise

show examples

in commercials these days which allure

children

to buy

things

while others disagree with

this

. In my opinion, I completely agree with the parents that

this

kind of publicity is inappropriate. Nowadays, media plays a very crucial role in influencing consumers to buy

things

. Undoubtedly, it is profitable for the sellers as their sales will be hiked. Among all the age groups,

children

are the most innocent and they get very easily attracted towards

things

such

as toys, chocolates , snacks etc.

For instance

Change preposition

in a

show examples

recent study on

top selling

Add a hyphen

top-selling

show examples

snacks for kids in The United States Of America, Kinder Joy was found to be

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

popular.

This

is due to their

marketting

Correct your spelling

marketing

stratergies

Correct your spelling

strategies

and advertisements as they have included a toy inside the snack as an add-on to attract more minors and they do spend a huge amount

Change preposition

show examples

promotion

Correct article usage

the promotion

show examples

of their product. So, from a child's perspective commercials definitely persuade them to buy

things

On the other hand

, I completely agree with the parents, that these

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of promotions are unfair for the

children

as they get more motivated to purchase the products,

thus

adding more financial burden on parents. Other

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

that,

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of distractions hamper the studies of

children

. Recent studies have found that there has been a behaviour change in many

children

as they are becoming more demanding nowadays as compared to the past years. Increased publicity of minors product leads to

Add an article

show examples

rise

Change the verb form

rising

show examples

in their desire to obtain that thing and the consequence is

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in their

stubborness

Correct your spelling

stubbornness

. So, advertisements should be

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

but to some limited extent so that they do not

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

with the mindset of a child. In conclusion, in

this

modern era media is very influential in attracting more buyers but in

case

Correct article usage

the case

show examples

of minors

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

should be promoted but only to some extent and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should

also

employ necessary rules pertaining to

this

Submitted by drvishal13 on Mon May 09 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?
Many health practitioners warn young people and adolescents about the dependance to video games because too much consumption of video games may cause impulsivity and poor posture. In order to solve this issues, young ones can try to play cosier games and move their body while playing games.
4.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I agree that rich countries does not solve poverty by giving the poorer country money. The main reason is because it does not help the economic situation in poorer country to move. They will just using the money for the things that not going back in return. Personally, I believe making a program to help poorer country to understand how to make things work will be better. The program can be started with build a bonding with the country by sending help at first, it will increase gradually not only financial or physical needs but richer country can provide poorer country an education like scholarship or building a new system in their education. For the second statement, I have to agree in one side that developed countries can give other types of help rather than financial aid. The other type of help that they can give is volunteers, where they make a program and assign groups of people from their country to be participating in the program. They have to train the volunteers in terms of ...
6.5
band
Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion asserting a lot can be inferred from whether should spend money on space or not.Some people would suggest that their life standards can be developed rather than financing money for exploring space.These interpretations can provide us insights into people's lifestyles.I, however, agree with the given statement on the basis of financial constraints and government conventions.
6
band
In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?
In the modern world, they have produced a huge number of TV movies or episodes from overseas for decades. This tendency made the local cinema industry decline as more people chose to watch foreign films than ever. The essay will expound on the reasons and supply possible solutions to address them.
7
band
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One of the social concerns today relates to road safety. While it is commonly suggested that strict punishments for offences are the key to limiting the number of traffic accidents, others believe that there will be more effective measures to keep people safe while travelling on the streets. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. I myself strongly support the point of view of harsh punishment.

In some countries, there has been an increase in adverstisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other items. Parents often argue that these announcements are unfair. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.