Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

In contemporary times, prison is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place not only for punishment

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for rehabilitation. In numerous circumstances, criminals can turn over a new leaf after imprisonment and become model citizens or impressive counsellors. From the following illustrations, I agree that they make good examples and are good persuaders for

teenagers

who are about to fall into the traps of

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

offenders

. To commence with,

Add an article

a previous

the previous

show examples

law-breaking

criminal

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criminals

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who understood their mistakes and become

law abiding

Add a hyphen

law-abiding

show examples

citizens are living role models for many

teenagers

That is

because they have been in the wrong, understood their mistakes, received punishment and made amendments. My colleague at the counselling centre is a striking example. He was a

junvenile

Correct your spelling

juvenile

delinquent who committed

burgulary

Correct your spelling

burglary

, and after rehabilitation, understood the adverse consequences of his action and become a good

cousellor

Correct your spelling

counsellor

after release from

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

. He is able to draw examples from his own experience when talking to young people. It is clear to see that his own experience is the strongest evidence for

teenagers

to stay away from

crime

Furthermore

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

are often rebellious, which can be attributed to hormonal or

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

factors. Unwilling to follow the words of authoritative figures like teachers and parents, they are more prone to temptations of

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

offenders

However

, it is more likely they find resemblance in previous

offenders

, who have rehabilitated and changed

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apply

show examples

and follow their advice.

Hence

, talks

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

by rehabilitators about the dangers of

crime

can bring back many

adolecents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

who are on the verge of committing unlawful

activity

Replace the word

acts

show examples

. To conclude, previous

crime

offenders

who have rehabilitated and become law-abiding citizens are strong persuaders to young adults and are the prime candidates for talks on

perils

Correct article usage

the perils

show examples

crime

, as evidenced

from

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their own experience and

also

the rebellious nature of

teenagers

Submitted by ichtsang on Tue May 10 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

People are responsible for their happiness. Others feel happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

As well as making the money, business also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.