IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that promoting a healthy life style is better than treating who are already ill. to what extent do you agree to this thought?

#people #life #style #thought
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Without a denying, a widely heated debate as to whether advocating a healthy
lifestyle
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 or treating
people
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 who are already ill has received great attention from the public, whereas some
people
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 are holding an opposite opinion toward promoting a healthy
lifestyle
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, as for my perspective, I am in
favor
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favour
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 of the former statement and an array of reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. Nowadays, with the popularity of healthy eating, a healthy
lifestyle
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 become the dominant mainstream in the world not only making
people
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 feel energetic but adverting them suffering from illnesses. To be more specific, eating a balanced diet could be a better
way
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 to live longer in comparison to an unhealthy diet. A study conducted by National Taiwan University concluded that over 70
percent
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per cent
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 of mortality rate is attributed to an unhealthy
way
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 of
life
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 pertaining to staying up late, indulging in eating specific meals, as well as overlooking other fruits and vegetables.
Additionally
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, as far as I am concerned, living a healthy
way
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 of
life
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 not only prevents suffering from
chronic
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the chronic
a chronic
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 disease but
also
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 saves a number of medical expenses. There is no doubt that medical fee is more expensive than the cost of living a healthy
lifestyle
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. To put it another
way
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,
people
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 living a healthy
lifestyle
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 can keep away the virus that makes them get sick;
moreover
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, their figure of deposit amount will be decreased owing to paying for medical cure. Take me as an example, when I was younger at 21 years of age, I ignore the importance of health and save money on nutritious diets in order to save; unfortunately, I suffered from severe illness and spent a large amount of money than I saved before. To sum up, based on the aforementioned, even though some
people
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 are opposed to a healthy
life
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is
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being
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worse than treatment, I am still deeply convinced that promoting a healthy
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Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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 is far better than
treating
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treatment
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.
Submitted by justin1996lin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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