Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations.

#people #work #organization #life #organisations

Some employments choose to change their

job

when they are no longer fit with the environment.

However

, some

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

choose to serve only one organization for their entire working life, while others decide to be employed by different institutions. These issues happen for several reasons, which will be explained more. People who manage to stay in the same employment for a long time, have several advantaged reasons.

Firstly

, public companies offer benefits for their permanent workers. Despite not liking it much, workers might stay as they get spoiled by a higher salary and good retirement money. In Indonesia, an employee of a state-own enterprise

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will gain promotion when they have spent several years in the

company

In addition

, for those who work for 30 years, the

company

will offer more money

Change preposition

apply

show examples

on their retirement day than people who work only for several years.

Secondly

, due to overpopulation, everyone is seeking a

job

Thus

, it will be too risky to resign from a

job

, while your replacement will certainly come quicker than getting a new

job

As a result

, employees are frightened to take the risk of struggling to get a new

job

On the contrary

, most

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fresh graduates are moving from one business to another business looking for experiences. happens since they are not satisfied with their previous

job

or teammates.

Moreover

this

group of people have no compulsory to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their living expenses as their parents still afford them the amount of money.

Thus

, taking the risk of losing a

job

is not a huge problem for them. To conclude, some folks hardly deal with their

job

when they are not feeling satisfied.

Hence

, they prefer to look for another opportunity.

However

, in my opinion,

job

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the job

show examples

has its challenges, it is our

job

to adjust to the

company

, and as feedback, the

company

will offer more

bonus

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bonuses

show examples

if we stay longer.

Submitted by wennyfatikas on Wed May 11 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the ratio of diseases triggered by manufactured foods has been increasing around the world. However, many people still prefer to eat them as the staple due to the inexpensive price. I strongly agree with the opinion that processed foods should be made more expensive than now.

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?