IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#habits #age #group
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Without a denying, a widely heated debate pertaining to whether shopping
habits
Use synonyms
 have a positive relationship with
age
Use synonyms
 group, whether some
people
Use synonyms
 are opposed to
this
Linking Words
 opinion, as for my perspective, I am holding an identical opinion toward
this
Linking Words
 statement and an array of reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. One primary reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 ought to wear suitable attire depending on the occasion and dress code. To be more specific,
people
Use synonyms
 are getting mature from adolescents to adults, so they should change their style of garments. Thereby, their shopping
habits
Use synonyms
 would be directly affected by the aforementioned factors. Take me as an example. After graduating from university and getting older, I started to engage in the technology company; as a consequence, I am forced to wear and buy appropriate garments to meet the regulation of the company.
Moreover
Linking Words
, owing to different ages,
people
Use synonyms
 have various aesthetic values
such
Linking Words
 as from loving animated cartoons to quality and luxurious items;
as a result
Linking Words
, their shopping
habits
Use synonyms
 were changed by their related hobbies and interests. To put it another way, period of young
people
Use synonyms
 hardly appreciate similar commodities as mature adults for different aspects and views leading to purchasing corresponding stuff. A study conducted by Cambridge University concluded that roughly 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have distinctive differences in purchasing
habits
Use synonyms
 compared to each stage of
age
Use synonyms
. To sum up, based on the aforementioned, even though some
people
Use synonyms
 are holding an opposite opinion toward that
age
Use synonyms
 group in relation to shopping
habits
Use synonyms
, I
still
Add a missing verb
am still
show examples
 deeply convinced that
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 would not buy similar items which they like before.
Submitted by justin1996lin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preferences
  • financial capacities
  • technological savviness
  • online platforms
  • traditional in-store shopping
  • marketing and advertising
  • susceptible to trends
  • generational values
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable and ethical shopping
  • value for money
  • product longevity
  • cultural background
  • income levels
  • personal interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: