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Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefilt
This
 is arguable that
teenagers
 should do unpaid
community
 volunteer
work
 in their free time. I totally agree with
this
 statement as it could be an opportunity for
teenagers
 to learn and develop the
skills
 from doing unpaid
work
 as well as to serve the
community
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they live in. On one hand, there are many benefits for
teenagers
 to learn and prepare to do the future
work
 in the real world by doing unpaid
community
work
.
For example
,
firstly
,
teenagers
 will get an idea
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how to use their knowledge and apply the
skills
 they have learnt from the
school
 in real
work
 by doing
community
work
such
 as
school
 events.
Secondly
, these
community
 works could help them to develop communication
skills
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they could use after graduation.
Thirdly
, they could get
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 many people in the
community
 while they are doing unpaid
community
work
. The connections they got could lead them to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paid
work
 when they finish
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 and start to look for a job.
On the other hand
, it is arguable that they could do paid
work
 during their free time
instead
 of doing volunteer
work
.
Firstly
, the paid
work
 will help them to get more money and they could help to support their family for daily and living expenses.
Secondly
, they could learn to manage
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 money while they are doing paid
work
.
This
 could help them to learn the money management skill which they could use
this
 skill to manage their daily life in the future. In conclusion, in my opinion, it may not be necessary to get
teenagers
 to do the paid
work
 while they are studying at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. They could learn the
skills
 for
work
 while they are doing unpaid
work
 without getting high pressure from
work
.
Submitted by hpisit on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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