IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leaisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leaisure #activities #situation
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Nowadays, there are many
people
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 that work a lot and they do not have any leisure
time
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 in order to do activities and entertainment,
this
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 trend is very negative and can be harmful for a long
time
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,
this
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 essay will check the positive and negative effects and I express my idea in the end. On the one hand, will examine the negative effects in
this
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 paragraph, today, all the
people
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 realized to care about
activity
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 and everyone try to be healthy than before ,
thus
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, as we can see a big part of society tend to go to the gym and other
activity
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 especially
this
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 is very common among of young
people
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,
furthermore
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, not only they want to choose sports but
also
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 they know that
this
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 is very vital for their body,
also
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, lack of
activity
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 can lead to many diseases in the future,
for example
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, I worked with the computer for a long
time
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 and I am suffering from an illness which is known as the abs, if I want to definition abs I can say
this
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 is a disorder which is related to lack of
activity
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.
In contrast
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, some
people
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 prefer to work for a long
time
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 and they likely received more money than other
people
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 but there is one point they do not have any
time
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 that spends on their family event for themselves,
in addition
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, we are working in order to provide welfare for themselves and their family,
otherwise
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,
people
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 should spend money for their diseases, as well as, they can not make a diary with their relatives,
for instance
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, who spend many times in outside can not have love with close family and always stay alone. In conclusion,
this
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 is a negative topic and
people
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 have to choose a sport for leisure
time
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 and should not allocate their whole
time
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 to work.
Submitted by mail.100jad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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