Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #television #home #school

Some people believe

kids

will have the ability to learn more effectively by watching

and should

therefore

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

encouraged to watch more of it regularly at their private

residence

Fix the agreement mistake

residences

show examples

or at school. In

this

essay, I will explain why I do not agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, letting children watch television on their own would expose them to random content which is not appropriate for their age

as well as

getting view problems at an early age . Youngsters will have access to any kind of movies or

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows that could have a negative impact on them when they become older.

For instance

kids

under 15 years of age have been banned from watching

in China.

Besides

, experts have done studies that showed that younger viewers’ eyes are more sensitive and will be harmed in the process of staring at the screen.

As a result

, these

kids

will require glasses when they get older since their vision

got

Wrong verb form

gets

show examples

worse because of

this

Secondly

Correct your spelling

show examples

content has a pure purpose of entertaining and avoiding the process of thinking.

kids

will have a higher chance of learning more from reading or talking to adults about what is happening in their surroundings than from watching

For example

, a study from 2008 that was done in Canada showed that from the ages 1 to 8 years old, children have proven to learn new topics in school by listening to their teacher and asking questions.

In addition

to that, it has been shown that in later years there has increased the number of

graduated

Change the form of the verb

graduate

show examples

students who spent less time watching

. In conclusion, there are better options for younger individuals when it comes to gaining new information

such

as reading, processing and talking about

this

content with others. In saying

this

, I do not agree with the statement above

due to

the fact that teaching happens in those moments that would benefit them better rather than staring at a screen.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Thu May 12 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The ideas need to be presented in a more organized and coherent manner to improve clarity.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

passive
sedentary
limit
creativity
imagination
educational content
expose
different cultures
perspectives
negative effects
behavior

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