IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. Write a letter to the course director. In your letter, explain your interest in the course describe your problems find out whether a refund is possible if you leave early

#advertisement #tennis #course #england #can’t #director #interest #refund
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to for a humble request. But before mentioning details in
this
 regard. I would like to explain
about
Change preposition
apply
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my interest In
tennis
. In fact, since my childhood, I dreamed of being a
tennis
 player. When I was admitted to school in 10th, I joined the
tennis
 team of my school and participated in many sports events and
tennis
 tournaments as a
tennis
 player.
Last
 week I saw an advertisement for a
tennis
 course, So I decided to take part in the said course to improve my skills and techniques in
tennis
 so submit the admission form. After receiving my registration I
,
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apply
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 deposited
two
Correct determiner usage
a
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 month's fee in the mentioned account. But now I want to cancel my registration
due to
 some personal reasons. I would be grateful if you please accept my request for a refund. If your policy does not allow you to refund the whole fee please give me a concession of half the amount. Hope you never let me down. I shall be very thankful for your kindness. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your letter has a clear structure with an introduction, separate paragraphs for each point, and a conclusion. Organize your ideas logically to improve coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Begin your letter with a clear purpose statement. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea - interest in tennis, description of problems, and query about the refund policy including its possibility and conditions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and engage the reader. Avoid redundancy and ensure each sentence adds new information or perspective.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to directly address all parts of the task. Start by explaining your interest, then detail your problems more specifically, and finally, ask clearly about the refund policy.
Task Achievement
Adopt a more formal tone where appropriate, especially when requesting a refund or mentioning a formal agreement. This could involve using modal verbs for politeness ('would' rather than 'want'), passive voice for a more formal tone, or more formal phrases ('I would appreciate it if…' instead of 'Please').
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