Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#someone #luck

Achieving an

aim

requires significant effort and sometimes a little bit of

luck

. Many successful people of today are those who spent countless hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

trying

Add the particle

totrying

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reach their goals. I completely disagree with the idea that achieving one’s

aim

is mostly

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apply

show examples

a question of

luck

. I believe that

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apply

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considering the

ways

Add a comma

,ways

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people become successful may be sufficient enough to prove

this

point. Most importantly, a person’s

success

is directly proportional to his efforts. More work produces

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

results. When we investigate the lives of the most successful people in our world, we can see clearly that they even gave up on their sleep and relaxation to reach their aims. Their

success

was almost completely due to their hard and consistent work.

However

luck

was not always on their side.

Therefore

, we can easily say that achieving one’s

aim

is mostly due to their efforts and not

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

luck

In addition

, in order for someone to be lucky, they have to show some effort. A person who did not buy a lottery ticket, can not win the big prize no matter how lucky he is.

Luck

is just a contributor to already successful people’s

success

Furthermore

, those who are dedicated to

win

Change the verb form

winning

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will produce their own

luck

in times of difficulty. They will try many times before they can

finally

reach their

aim

Thus

, achieving a goal is not mostly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a question of

luck

but effort.

Lastly

luck

is useful in the hands of individuals who are prepared to get tired. Those who do not want to work may not make use of the

luck

that is

given to them. So, when we see someone with many achievements we should understand that he worked hard, no matter how lucky he is.

Finally

success

is never a coincidence or byproduct of

luck

but it is an outcome of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

with tears and sweat.

Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on Thu May 12 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, social media has become an increasingly important part of many people's lives. What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of social media use? Do you believe the overall impact of social media is positive or negative?

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Wirte your personal statement why do you want to study MA Comparative Education in University College London.

Some people think that there are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.