You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and after look after their six year old child. Write a letter the parents. In your letter Explain why you would like the Job

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to apply for the job of looking after your
six year old
Add a hyphen
six-year-old

It appears that six year old is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
child during a six-month stay
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Australia. I believe I would be highly suitable for
this
job, and it would be a win-win situation for us. I have been longing to visit Australia and it would be great for me to live with your family
this
year since I am having a gap year. Aside from being able to view the mesmerizing sceneries and have the delicious crocodile soup, I would be much obliged
were
Change the verb form
was

It appears that the subject pronoun I and the verb were are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
I given the opportunity to look after your child as well. I would surely enjoy the precious opportunity to travel around various places
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Australia with him. I have
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
experience in
this
area and can
also
assure you that I will do a great job. I hope that your family is doing excellent these days.
Besides
, I look forward to receiving your prompt reply and I would be glad to meet you soon! Thank you! Yours faithfully, Matt Ng
Submitted by charlottehoiching0207 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Checks your essay in seconds
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.