In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #goods #entertainment #development

These days, Shopping is a common habit between young people and old people

also

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

it is part of life and conventional routine. Nowadays, advanced

countries

' populations are buying products that are not based on the requirement,

Likewise

entertainment

Change preposition

as entertainment

show examples

. As far as my opinion is concerned, it is a negative thought.

Consequently

, it will create numerous issues.

This

essay would

further

expand my thoughts on the same in the ensuing paragraphs.

Firstly

, consumerism is a normal tradition of human beings. But, if it is necessary at that point there is no negative impact.

Although

western

Change preposition

in western

show examples

countries

, procurement is not as per the demands it is part of

lifestyle

Add an article

the lifestyle

a lifestyle

show examples

Such

Remove the comma

apply

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metropolitan shopping attitude.

Common

Add an article

A common

The common

show examples

individual who works the whole month after obtaining goods extravagantly will lead to a financial crisis. Sometimes, lack of money leads to crimes and derivation of mental fitness.

Secondly

, developed

countries

' marketing strategies are different. Manufacturers are trying to attract customers

Change preposition

through

show examples

various channels.

For example

, through social media.

Accordingly

, consumers will attract

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

products. Simultaneously, demands will Increase. After all, the price will climb gradually. On

this

occasion, needless purchases will develop the price fluctuation in the market. Society must be aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

the pros and cons of the unneeded buying of nature.

As a result

, of

price

Correct article usage

the price

show examples

hike

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,hike

show examples

poor population will suffer badly so everyone ought to understand

side

Correct article usage

the side

show examples

effects In conclusion, in the

first

world

countries

shopping now is the way for entertainment not only for buying gadgets. I believe that the negative effect and community should buy just what they need.

Submitted by ramutty2006 on Fri May 13 2022

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.