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Band 4

Some people claim there are different ways of saving energy (electricity and gas), such as using energy for shorter period of time n the workplace and not using electricity, gas one day a week. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#people #energy #electricity #gas #period #time #n #workplace #week
Someone deems that there are various methods to reduce the use of
energy
.
For instance
, shorten electricity using time or do not use
energy
 for a day per week.
To
Change preposition
In
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 my way of thinking, I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement. Undeniably, the above methods can save
energy
, but I am afraid that there are some practical problems when executing the measures.
First
 of all, the usage of electricity in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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 is depending on the environment. If your office is located in a high-rise building, it is hard to imagine
that
Correct word choice
apply
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people
 working in a dark place without air-conditioners. Most buildings use a central air-conditioning system to control temperature and humidity,
besides
, daylight is hard to get in mansions as well.
Thus
, As far as I am concerned, reducing time on using
energy
 is not practical in
urban
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an urban
the urban
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is just a short period
in
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of
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 a day.
Moreover
,
people
 get used to using
energy
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, it is difficult to change someone's habit. Nowadays, working with a computer, watching television in leisure time, and cooking dinner every night are daily activities for everyone. All of these need
elevtricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 or gas,
energy
 consumption is
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 around us. It is impossible that
people
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
 nothing for a whole day. It is no doubt to say that a city will fall
in
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into
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 a nightmare if it
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
functions
Replace the word
functioning
show examples
. In light of the aforementioned,
although
 the ideas of saving
engry
Correct your spelling
energy
angry
 are attractive, I still believed that it is not easy to cut
energy
 usage due to environmental problems and the habit of
people
 consuming
energy
.
Submitted by kuru on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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