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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The major cities in around the world continue growth, the more problems they may have. What the problems young people are caused by develop? What can be done to solve this?

#cities #world #growth #people
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It is universal knowledge that many problems emerge from the development of metropolitans, which seem to affect young
people
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 both physically and mentally the most.
Accordingly
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, the need for innovative solutions to these existing challenges is urgent. Being raised in the city
center
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centre
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, young
people
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 are facing two issues. By introducing electrical appliances and readily available vehicles to children, more and more teenagers are becoming spoiled and irresponsible. It can be observed that since there is no need to finish tasks manually, many children lack the skills required to strive on their own and become extremely dependent on their loved ones in their later stages of life.
Thus
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, not only are they unable to manage their spending wisely while living alone, but they are
also
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 vulnerable to diseases and develop bad habits and addictions.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 are struggling to find jobs in
such
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 a competitive environment. As the world’s population grows, a work position will be looked at by several
people
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, meaning those unable to reach the academic excellence required might find themselves unemployed for a while. Fortunately, several proposals can be practical in tackling these problems, one of which is directing children’s lifestyle as early as possible. If parents and teachers educate them on how to take care of themselves, be responsible for their actions and remain alert and calm in difficult situations, these children will soon be independent and lead a healthy life. Meanwhile, other proposals suggest encouraging young
people
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 to start their businesses. Traditionally, most university graduates tend to become employees under existing companies, having to work their way to higher.
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, by operating businesses that do not require extensive education, they are likely to earn more money than most employees while enjoying the work they will be doing. In short, a permanent, stable job and a healthy lifestyle are currently what young
people
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 are struggling to obtain in
this
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 modern world. As one has quoted: “Modern problem requires modern solutions”, immediate steps can be taken to ensure a bright future for the youth.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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