IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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There is an argument today in a number of
countries
Use synonyms
. Some
people
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 think it is necessary to spend
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
money
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 on
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 faster
railway
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, but some
people
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 believe the
money
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 should be spent on improving existing public transport. Both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 will be disgusted in
this
Linking Words
 opinion piece.
To begin
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 with, there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
Correct your spelling
of
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or
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of
show examples
countries
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 that does not have very fast
railway
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 to travel between cities. Whether these
countries
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 are underdeveloped or
people
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Use synonyms
choses
Correct your spelling
chooses
chosen
 not to construct. Compare to
countries
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 that have a very fast
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railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
, these
countries
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 have the
abilities
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ability
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 to distribute
resource
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resources
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 more efficiently.
People
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 can go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
Correct your spelling
workplace
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work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 that are far away
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a short amount of time,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
 some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
Use synonyms
choses
Correct your spelling
chooses
chosen
 to construct
these
Change the determiner
this railway
these railways
show examples
railway
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when you spent the
money
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 on upgrading the public transportation. You will instantly improve the
live
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life
show examples
that
Change preposition
of that
show examples
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation on the daily basis. They do not have to spend time learning the mechanic of the new
railway
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, and that time can
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on more reasonable stuff. Some
people
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 do not like going through the learning process and
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choses
Correct your spelling
chooses
 what they often use, for
this
Linking Words
reason
Add the comma(s)
,reason
show examples
 they
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choses
Correct your spelling
chose
chooses
choose
 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 the
money
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 on improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation. In conclusion, it can
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 both ways because there are
people
Use synonyms
 who agree and disagree on where the
money
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 should be spent. It
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on what the majority of the
people
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 want and if the country can afford it or not. If it is reasonable enough and
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 on it, it will be the clear choice for that country.
Submitted by chompunoot.raj on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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