IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
It is very important for
children
 to engage in fruitful
activities
 during their idle
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
. Some people opine that
parents
 should motivate their offspring to do so whereas others believe that they themselves should inculcate
this
 habit to keep themselves busy.
This
 essay entails covering both views
however
 I personally believe that both offspring and their guardians are responsible and can work towards achieving
this
 as none of them can shrug off their shoulders. Those who believe that
parents
 can encourage their kids give numerous reasons to support their opinion. Starting with, they are the
first
 point of contact for any child.
Hence
, can nurture and mould them to take part in group
activities
 and pick a hobby that they can do during their free time.
Secondly
, kids look up to them as their role models
therefore
 they try to imitate them in the best possible way. Research suggests that
children
 develop skills more often when
parents
 themselves utilize their
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time with the help of hobbies.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 necessary for the child to realize how best they can utilize their free time as they are the best judge. They should learn to keep themselves busy or take part in
activities
 that are productive.
Moreover
, it is necessary because
parents
 will not be there to guide always. So, it is important that they identify what makes them happy because who knows it can later become their occupation. I believe that both
parents
 and
children
 play an equal role in inculcating
this
 behaviour. In the initial days of childhood,
parents
 should allow
children
 to try different
activities
 which will help them to identify their interests. Later, it is the responsibility of the child to take the initiative to occupy themselves as it can help them in their future. To conclude, it is important that
parents
 play an active role
initially
 to involve
children
 in constructive tasks and post that
children
 can pursue hobbies which captivate them.
Submitted by biswal.akankshya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
What to do next:
Look at other essays: