Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is generally believed by certain individuals that young

generations

Use synonyms

should be provided opportunities with retiring of high-class over 55 years old employees. Regarding

this

Linking Words

, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

assertion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the retirement of

seniors

Use synonyms

in their fifties causes

excessive

Add an article

an excessive

show examples

burden on young adults. Since

seniors

Use synonyms

are supported with pensions, and jobless benefits after their retirements, young

generations

Use synonyms

have to pay a lot of taxes.

For example

Linking Words

, recent media in Korea reports that one young adult

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to support almost 1.5

seniors

Use synonyms

. As the example clearly illustrates,

seniors

Use synonyms

have to be encouraged to

work

Use synonyms

to diminish

youngster’s

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters’

show examples

taxes.

Moreover

Linking Words

, elderly people should

work

Use synonyms

for their health. If they retire earlier, some are neglected without social interactions in contemporary society, thereby leading to mental illnesses

such

Linking Words

as depression. In

this

Linking Words

regards

Fix the agreement mistake

regard

show examples

, a survey conducted by the Korea senior Foundation has revealed that approximately 30% of

seniors

Use synonyms

who

work

Use synonyms

until

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the age of 65 are healthier than others who retire before 55 years old.

Hence

Linking Words

, retirement at 55 is not a good idea for old people.

Finally

Linking Words

seniors

Use synonyms

should

work

Use synonyms

until

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a late stage as new

generations

Use synonyms

can learn a lot of knowledge and practical skills from old workers. Since old

generations

Use synonyms

have lived longer than youngsters, they have experienced a lot of situations.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in some cases, old staffs are wiser than

Add an article

a youngster

the youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

. Not only can working together improve new

generations

Use synonyms

’ soft skills, but it may

also

Linking Words

contribute to decreasing the generation gap. In conclusion, old

generations

Use synonyms

should be supported to

work

Use synonyms

in order to maintain their health and reduce

burden

Add an article

the burden

show examples

on new

generations

Use synonyms

. What is more, it can be beneficial for new

generations

Use synonyms

as they can learn from

seniors

Use synonyms

hiasince38Sun May 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost You do NOT need to write any addresses.