These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

In the

modren

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modern

world, as an individual

grow

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growing

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up, he

migrate

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migrates

show examples

to other places for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

further

education

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work. The benefit of doing

this

act, gives the extended knowledge of the world, as he

meet

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meets

show examples

new people and

get

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gets

show examples

a chance to know about their cultures.

Moreover

, he

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apply

show examples

learns about the different places other than his native area. There are certainly more

powerfull

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powerful

advantages of moving to

another places

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another place

other places

show examples

, than the disadvantages.

Firstly

, in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

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apply

show examples

villages , there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not

encough

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enough

schools and

collages

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colleges

show examples

that can give students

advance

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advanced

show examples

education

, considering that,

for

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apply

show examples

further

education

becomes the primary reason for moving from the home town.

This

gives pupils a

Correct your spelling

chance

show examples

change

Correct your spelling

chance

show examples

for a better opportunity and growth in

carrier

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a carrier

the carrier

show examples

In addition

to that, because of the job more number of people are now moving towards towns.

For example

- most of my friends who have done engineering, are now living in Pune and Banglore, because of their office location.

This

elaborate

Wrong verb form

elaborates

show examples

how one can get advantages by moving away from the childhood home.

However

, there are certain

drowbacks

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drawbacks

this

. On the one hand, those who are always

depend

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dependent

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on their family for

day

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the day

a day

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to day work, find it difficult to perform those

task

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tasks

show examples

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show examples

their own.

On the other

hand

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,hand

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they learn to do

this

as they settled in the new

lifestlye

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lifestyle

Furthermore

, because they live alone, they feel homesick and

this

lonelyness

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loneliness

can

causes

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cause

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

depression,

untill

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until

they start meeting new people and

made

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making

show examples

friends

this

can cause detrimental effects on their life. In summary,

although

there are some negative causes for moving away from home town, the growth in life as they master in

education

and have a

fastastic

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fantastic

job, they can move

ahed

Correct your spelling

ahead

in their life.

With considering

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Considering

show examples

all the points, it is certain that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

of migration

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

Submitted by homegardener on Mon May 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Study shows that criminals have low levels of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

The barchart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.