IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #science #park #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given map gives information about the development of a science
park
 from 2008 to the present day.
Overall
, the
park
 has expanded with more buildings and facilities to study and research. At the northwest of the science
park
, there was a grassland in 2008 which was replaced by a research and development building,
while
 the business units remained unchanged.
In addition
, the reception
next
 to the offices was given way to
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 hub. The car
park
 at the centre was reduced in size,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 the cyber security
next
 to it was extended to take over the small grassland. At the
west south
Add a hyphen
west-south
show examples
 of the
park
Add a comma
,park
show examples
 the woodland is still there
while
 the IT centre was
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 way for
innovation
Add an article
the innovation
show examples
 centre.
Moreover
, a newly built station was added in the railway and bus stop at the esat way to help citizens easily travel to the
park
. The buildings
Change the verb form
were
show examples
was link
Change the verb form
linked
show examples
together with
 paths and there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more cycle path around the
park
 to help people
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 around the
park
.
Submitted by nguyenmaitrang1310 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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