IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given map gives information about the development of a science
park
Use synonyms
 from 2008 to the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
park
Use synonyms
 has expanded with more buildings and facilities to study and research. At the northwest of the science
park
Use synonyms
, there was a grassland in 2008 which was replaced by a research and development building,
while
Linking Words
 the business units remained unchanged.
In addition
Linking Words
, the reception
next
Linking Words
 to the offices was given way to
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 hub. The car
park
Use synonyms
 at the centre was reduced in size,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
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 the cyber security
next
Linking Words
 to it was extended to take over the small grassland. At the
west south
Add a hyphen
west-south
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 of the
Use synonyms
park
Add a comma
,park
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 the woodland is still there
while
Linking Words
 the IT centre was
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 way for
innovation
Add an article
the innovation
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 centre.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a newly built station was added in the railway and bus stop at the esat way to help citizens easily travel to the
park
Use synonyms
. The buildings
Change the verb form
were
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was link
Change the verb form
linked
show examples
together with
Linking Words
 paths and there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more cycle path around the
park
Use synonyms
 to help people
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 around the
park
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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