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Band 5.5

In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage #development
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It is easy to observe nowadays that the interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 getting married has decreased among
women
Use synonyms
 as some people opine that the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is female counter earns a considerable income and feels no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 financial security from
marriage
Use synonyms
. It is certainly a welcoming trend since it can raise the status of
women
Use synonyms
 in
society
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 and ensures their freedom
also
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in many nations where
women
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earns
Change the verb form
earn
show examples
 enough money, they consider themselves self-dependent so they require
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 financial
assistant
Change to a plural noun
assistants
show examples
 from
marriage
Use synonyms
 which ultimately
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 their confidence to tackle their problems without
Correct your spelling
anyone
anyone's
anyones
Change to a genitive case
anyone's
show examples
 help.
In addition
Linking Words
, working
women
Use synonyms
 nowadays like to chase their dream
instead
Linking Words
 of getting married because marriages bring along numerous restrictions and responsibilities that may create
hinderence
Correct your spelling
hindrance
 in their way. To cite an example, a survey conducted by Oxford University in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2015 manifestly showed that the rate of efficacy of achieving goals was doubled in
women
Use synonyms
 who chose work
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
marriage
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
women
Use synonyms
 earn a suitable income, they may make themselves free from
interference
Add an article
the interference
show examples
 of other people in their lives. To elaborate, when females have no income source, it is commonly observed in
third
Linking Words
 world countries that parents take
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
marriage
Use synonyms
 and they often have no right to speak against it.
Hence
Linking Words
, working
women
Use synonyms
 can understand their importance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and they can raise
Correct pronoun usage
their voice
show examples
voice
Fix the agreement mistake
voices
show examples
 not only
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themselves but for other females in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend can break many social barriers of
society
Use synonyms
 which somewhere somehow restrict
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 empowerment in
society
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, gender discrimination and male dominating
society
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 effect. To conclude, it is unequivocal that since there is an increase in
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 respect and right to take
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 freely in
society
Use synonyms
, earning
women
Use synonyms
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 financial stability due to marriages. Indeed, it is a positive development.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

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