IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many efforts have been made by countries to address challenges concerning the environment but the situation has not improved. What are the possible reasons for environmental degradation? Are there any solutions to combat this problem? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

#efforts #countries #address #challenges #environment #situation #degradation #combat #support
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Use synonyms
Earth
Change noun form
Earth's
show examples
 Environments situation has worsened since the period of
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 revolution. There were many activities that have damaged our ecosystem.
However
Linking Words
, the most impactful was the unexpected
increase
Use synonyms
 of greenhouse in our
Use synonyms
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 atmosphere
As a result
Linking Words
 ,our modern society
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 trying to salvage the situation
such
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 as inventing new kind of
energy
Use synonyms
, regulations of automobiles, etc).
As in
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will exhibit the cause and the
solution
Use synonyms
 of our
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problem.
First
Linking Words
 of all , The consequence of increasing greenhouse gases was the overall
increase
Use synonyms
 in
earth
Use synonyms
 temperatures.
Therefore
Linking Words
, created serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as rising sea
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 and damaging many
organisms
Change noun form
organisms'
organism's
show examples
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the
increase
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 temperature
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 caused the ice glaciers around the
earth
Use synonyms
 to start melting.
Hence
Linking Words
, raising
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the sea level. Because of that, many
Correct your spelling
coastal
show examples
costal
Correct your spelling
coastal
show examples
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 were destroyed.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 temperature
also
Linking Words
 caused
the organisms habitat
Change to a genitive case
the organism's habitat
the habitat of the organism
show examples
 to
altered
Add a missing verb
be altered
show examples
.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 drastic change in habitat temperature ,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 risks many organisms going extinct.
Therefore
Linking Words
, inventing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 kind of
energy
Use synonyms
 was a necessity. Green
energy
Use synonyms
 is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 many experts have agreed that it is a
solution
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 combating environmental problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, green
energy
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not created any carbon emissions or toxic gases
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our environment.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 the process of harvesting
this
Linking Words
 kind of
energy
Use synonyms
 doesn’t do much
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 surroundings as well.
Thus
Linking Words
 shifting our usage of our
energy
Use synonyms
 towards green
energy
Use synonyms
 will help ease the burden
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment. In conclusion, Even though the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the ecosystem
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 made and can’t be
revert
Wrong verb form
reverted
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we have found the
solution
Use synonyms
 to prevent them.
Thus
Linking Words
 lies in
Add an article
the hand
show examples
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 of the government to implement the
solution
Use synonyms
 and prevent it
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 worsening.
Submitted by punthegod on

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