Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is said that nowadays, the huge volume of sales can be regarded as influences that the advertisement
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
on customers rather than their real demands. I generally believe that advertising control what
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been used by
launcing
Correct your spelling
launching
their products and making a lot of efforts to present them.
First
of all, firms have invested a huge amount of money to demonstrate what they want by putting them in front of people’s sight
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
places like highways. Any individual may face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at least a few posters of a product when
stucking
Correct your spelling
stocking
stuck
in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
traffic or while driving or walking. So, by
Add an article
the method
show examples
method
Add a comma
,method
show examples
they can be familiar with a good and may they want to give it a shot.
secondly
, It is common
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
everyone
Add the comma(s)
, everyone,
show examples
to buy some
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
that are useless. We are being affected by TV commercials that lead us to try a thing which we have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
heard
or
Change preposition
about or
show examples
watched almost
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Howeverq
Correct your spelling
However
, after a while we do not use them anymore as there were not of necessities.As a
consequence
Add a comma
,consequence
show examples
we help to increase the sales of a company by having a
curisity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
to find new things. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
some people believe that advertising is not really strong and the statistics relevant to sales amount are an indicator of
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
desire for a specific good, I feel that today advertising is a science that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
people since they
are frequently install
Change the verb form
are frequently installed
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
highways and they are frequently shown on TV commercials to persuade people at least try their products for once.
Submitted by pkohnechi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: