Hobbies can be generally said as the things or activities people find as their favourite. These days, few individuals engage their time for their hobbies due to personal reasons. How did it tend to be so?
To set the ball rolling, people tend to be involved in the day-to-day work
as a result
of the fast-paced world and economical standings. The world has changed over the past few years and job opportunities seem to grow less each and every day. An example is the problems faced by millennials, undergraduates and teenagers who tend to be pressured due to the lack of jobs. In relation to this
, they feel frustrated that they are of poor social value and begin to tend a blind eye or lose interest in engaging in their loving activities. It can be said that jobs are very crucial to human society. However
, hobbies must not be avoided since it plays an important role in the health of individuals and that of society.
In addition
, most communities find themselves not being able to take adequate time off their busy schedules. This
is because,
people engage in so many activities in order to be of good living and tend to forget about their hobbies. Remove the comma
apply
As a result
of that, they improve less in their health.
An example is an increase of young adults being a victim of different kinds of illnesses. Correct quantifier usage
less.
Therefore
, they eventually reduce their lifespan over a period of time. The saying "money can buy everything" seems to be right in certain cases but it does not seem to buy life when you are close to your grave. Lavish living tends to be favourable. However
, people should not forget to make age for their hobbies as well since it is also
considered a category of life too.
In conclusion, day-to-day work and busy schedules blindly affect most individuals and society. Adults and teenagers must devote some part of their era to the activities they find enjoyable to them since it is considered essential to improve health standards and long-living
.Correct your spelling
long living
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite