The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects

#percentage #children #society #years #effects

Here, Over the past few years, developed countries have encountered various cases of

children

suffering from the problem of obesity.

This

essay will discuss the possible causes for

this

increasing problem among

children

and

also

suggests the possible consequences that may result in case of negligence.

Furthermore

, one of the main causes of obesity among

children

is poor diet as they are often seen eating junk

food

Change preposition

show examples

almost every corner of the street, one can

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

restaurants offering mouth tempting fast foods. Kids at home

also

are found to eat processed

food

because their parents do not find sufficient time for preparing the

food

For example

, packaged foods are purchased and kept in

fridge

Add an article

the fridge

show examples

for days.

This

food

is not fresh and healthy.

Hence

affects their health, leading to

Add a hyphen

build-up

show examples

build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

up of fat and compromising their fitness.

As a result

, there are many possible consequences faced by the

children

. One

such

ill-effect is the risk of developing

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

severe diseases like diabetes. So,

This

kind of debilitating illness implies that the child would need to be injected with insulin for the whole life.

Moreover

, overweight

children

are often found to be bullied .

For example

, many overweight kids are found disturbed facing the negative stigma of being obese Here,On the whole, it is evident that there are various causes responsible for obesity among

children

and can lead to serious consequences in the future.

Also

, It is the duty of their parents and relatives to ensure that appropriate steps are taken to prevent

this

problem from getting worst in the future.

Submitted by praveenkumarputchala1998 on Tue May 17 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects

Include an introduction and conclusion

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?