IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future
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Nowadays,
Health
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 is the most essential
things
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thing
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 in human life.
People
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 tend to
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be careless
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careless
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care less
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their
Change preposition
about their
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 both physical
health
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 and mental
health
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. The regular standard of
people
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's
health
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 rather to
fallen
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fall
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 in the future than now. I personally agree that
people
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likely
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are likely
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 to pay less attention to their own
health
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. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined. To
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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 with
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people
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people's
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health
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, they do not care about themselves that much. Some
people
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 believe that eat whatever and whenever you want because
its
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it
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 make you happy. As that they overlooked through their body
Linking Words
For
Add the comma(s)
,For
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 example,
individual's
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an individual's
the individual's
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 who
addicted
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are addicted
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 to sugar, they likely to want drinks or desserts
everyday
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every day
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 to control their starve.
In addition
Linking Words
, Fast
food
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 became
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant choice in society. everybody chose it because they do not know what to eat while fast
food
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 inexpensive and easier to consume.
Such
Linking Words
 as, office workers and students chose them over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh and a benefits
food
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.
Furthermore
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, a common reason is
stress
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a stress
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,
people
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 relieve their mental
health
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by
Change preposition
with
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 a meal.
For instance
Linking Words
, employees who worked
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 stress or
injured
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are injured
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 by working while
food
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 can help them to reduce it. In conclusion, I agree with the argument that
individual's
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an individual's
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 mental and physical
health
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 will be decreased in the future.Whilst some are becoming aware of the
health
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 issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of fast foods and the constant exposure to stress will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of
health
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 of many
people
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 in the coming years.
Submitted by venus.mik2005 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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