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Band 5.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future
Nowadays,
Health
 is the most essential
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 in human life.
People
 tend to
Add a missing verb
be careless
show examples
careless
Correct your spelling
care less
show examples
their
Change preposition
about their
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 both physical
health
 and mental
health
. The regular standard of
people
's
health
 rather to
fallen
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fall
show examples
 in the future than now. I personally agree that
people
likely
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are likely
show examples
 to pay less attention to their own
health
. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined. To
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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 with
people
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people's
show examples
health
, they do not care about themselves that much. Some
people
 believe that eat whatever and whenever you want because
its
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it
show examples
 make you happy. As that they overlooked through their body
For
Add the comma(s)
,For
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 example,
individual's
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an individual's
the individual's
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 who
addicted
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are addicted
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 to sugar, they likely to want drinks or desserts
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to control their starve.
In addition
, Fast
food
 became
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant choice in society. everybody chose it because they do not know what to eat while fast
food
are
Change the verb form
is
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 inexpensive and easier to consume.
Such
 as, office workers and students chose them over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh and a benefits
food
.
Furthermore
, a common reason is
stress
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a stress
show examples
,
people
 relieve their mental
health
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a meal.
For instance
, employees who worked
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 stress or
injured
Add a missing verb
are injured
show examples
 by working while
food
 can help them to reduce it. In conclusion, I agree with the argument that
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 mental and physical
health
 will be decreased in the future.Whilst some are becoming aware of the
health
 issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of fast foods and the constant exposure to stress will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of
health
 of many
people
 in the coming years.
Submitted by venus.mik2005 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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