IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Pollution of air, water and soil has become critical=serious in last years and it takes millions of years to recoup. What are the main causes of pollution? How can we tackle this problem individually and globally?

#pollution #air #water #soil #critical=serious #years #millions
In the 21st century
pollution
 is one of the major challenges facing
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 whereas human activity
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the key result of
this
 situation.
In addition
, years need to restore the habitat to make
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
show examples
 place for fauna and flora. In
this
 essay,I will explain what are the causes and will recommend some solutions for
this
 subject. The adverse effect of globalisation and industrialisation brings enormous changes in
nature
 through the adverse effects of
pollution
.
Firstly
,excessive growth of population demands more consumer goods which promote chemical products,
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 air and soil
pollution
.
For example
, According to the World Health Organisation 2020, Epidemiological statistics suggested that 75% of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 populated
Correct your spelling
cities
citie's
Change noun form
cities'
show examples
 atmosphere contains harmful chemical molecules.
Although
, it
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
 the rhythm of
nature
.
Secondly
,
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
 and
river
Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
show examples
 for the construction of buildings makes changes on earth.
Subsequently
, water bodies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
now
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 unhygienic water.
Thirdly
, human discoveries like cars and other motor vehicles emit carbon monoxide
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
stratosphere
Correct article usage
the stratosphere
show examples
 which will make cracks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layers. There are many measures and policies
existed
Correct pronoun usage
that existed
show examples
 for the reduction of
pollution
.
On the other hand
, proper laws and penalty
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
awareness among people and
Correct your spelling
multimillionaire
multimillion
multimillioner
Change the word
more multimillion
show examples
 companies to accept the value of
nature
. Even though, the government should adopt the proper curriculum for children to understand the importance of
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
.
In contrast
, these instructions deliver a new lifestyle among youngsters. To illustrate
this
, in Sweden the government introduced mandatory public cleaning training for children up to 13 years whereas it enhanced social responsibility among future citizens. Alternatively, world
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 and industrialists should clearly follow non-destructive and proper caring for
nature
 with
regarding
Replace the word
regard
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 export and tariff structure. In conclusion, there is a saying 'a bird without wings'
similarly
 humans cannot survive without
nature
.
Therefore
, all the Governments and reputed authorities take responsibility to bring positive change
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the beauty of
nature
.
Submitted by sreekuttyvk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: