IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in spite of the many advances women have made in eduction and emplyment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view , what should be donr to promote equality of the opportunity for men and women in the workplace.

#spite #advances #women #eduction #emplyment #promotion #donr #equality #opportunity #men #workplace
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Nowadays the attitude toward the role of
women
Use synonyms
 in our community is changing in a promising way.
However
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, there is still some sort of inequality when it comes to payment and promotion.
This
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 essay will mention some solutions to overcome
this
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 problem. It is undeniable that the woman is the half of the society, and it is our duty to ensure that all the
women
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 in the world have all their
rights
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 without any gender discrimination not only in education or employment but
also
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 in the payment. To achieve
this
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, the
emolyers
Correct your spelling
employers
 awareness of
women
Use synonyms
’s
rights
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 should be elevated.
This
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 can be done through the establishment of numerous workshops and awareness campaigns targeting the employers to educate about the importance of the equality between men and
women
Use synonyms
 and teach them that as long as the woman can do the same job as the man she deserves to earn the same amount of the money. A
second
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 approach, governments authorities should impose a
work
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 law to protect and guarantee
women
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’s
rights
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 at the
work
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. Applying a fair
work
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 law will force the managers and the employers to pay men and
women
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 the same salaries.
For example
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, in my country, in 2001, the
work
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 low had been changed by including a new section about wages equality no matter the gender of the employee. In conclusion, it is extremely crucial to stand for
women
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's
rights
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 at
work
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, and there are many ways to ensure
this
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,
such
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 as raising the awareness of the employers and making the salaries and promotions equality a legal requirement by the law for all the companies.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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