IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
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A part of society considers that individuals who have a long experience in one career are more professionally fulfilled than those who have short experience in different careers. The paragraphs below will outline a partial agreement toward
this
Linking Words
 trend, explaining that the respect, promotions and the self-confidence acquired assist
on
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in
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 it,
however
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, not all
people
Use synonyms
 find their passion
initially
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.
To begin
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 with, the main reason to explain why picking one
job
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 and sticking to it for a long time makes
people
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 happier in their
ocupations
Correct your spelling
occupations
occupation
 is the level of respect achieved and the possibility of being promoted. Regardless of the profession, a skilled worker is looked up to for being acquainted and,
therefore
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, their opinion is valued and acknowledged.
As a result
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, companies tend to see these employees as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
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 and promote them to keep them on the team. Another cogent motive to justify why individuals that build long careers are happier in their professions than those who do not is
due to
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apply
show examples
the self-confidence acquired. Inevitably with time,
people
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 have faced different problems and found solutions to most of them, gaining confidence to work with more enthusiasm. In stark contrast, not all
not all
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
experienced workers are fulfilled
on
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in
show examples
 their
job
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.
For instance
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, Allan Guanabara, a famous Brazilian business heir, had his
job
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 chosen
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 early as he lived his whole life surrounded by the family's business and felt obligated to work on it to maintain the family status and brand alive. After two decades,
last
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 year, he quit and decided to become a cook and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 never been happier. To conclude, I somewhat agree that choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 early can help
people
Use synonyms
 find
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction through getting respected and,
consequently
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, promoted, as well as self-confident.
Although
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, as
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the example aforementioned, sticking with a career for a long time can prevent individuals from finding professional
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
.
Submitted by alexandretco on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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