Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

In the present
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
we have a high lack of anonymity not only on the Internet. Government and companies want to know all our steps, thoughts and
Correct your spelling
heartbeat
show examples
heart beat
Correct your spelling
heartbeat
show examples
. For me these tendencies are terrifying and I believe that we will return the term “private space” in our everyday life. Anonymity must be one of the basic human rights like liberty of word and faith. You mustn’t prove that you need anonymity
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
somebody it’s your right. If we won’t do anything our society will transform into
classical
Add an article
a classical
show examples
utopia where big brother
see
Change the verb form
sees
show examples
you and every
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
step which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
us to
dark
Correct article usage
a dark
show examples
future of total control. But it doesn’t mean that we have to turn off all cameras and enjoy freedom, don't miss it and separate the private life of individuals and obvious security measures.
Submitted by vktory45 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: