Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

In the present

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

we have a high lack of anonymity not only on the Internet. Government and companies want to know all our steps, thoughts and

Correct your spelling

heartbeat

show examples

heart beat

Correct your spelling

heartbeat

show examples

. For me these tendencies are terrifying and I believe that we will return the term “private space” in our everyday life. Anonymity must be one of the basic human rights like liberty of word and faith. You mustn’t prove that you need anonymity

Change preposition

from

show examples

somebody it’s your right. If we won’t do anything our society will transform into

classical

Add an article

a classical

show examples

utopia where big brother

see

Change the verb form

sees

show examples

you and every

your

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

step which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

us to

dark

Correct article usage

a dark

show examples

future of total control. But it doesn’t mean that we have to turn off all cameras and enjoy freedom, don't miss it and separate the private life of individuals and obvious security measures.

Submitted by vktory45 on Wed May 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

136 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
In light of the technology, individuals prefer rapid use to traditional that so. Although many assert that this trend brings detrimental consequences, I lean towards the benefits it offers to users are far weightier.
5.5
band
Over consuming sugar is unhealthy .Some people think that the government should take responsibility to control it.Others think that individuals should take responsibility for their sugar intake.Discuss both views and give your opinion .Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is important to keep our healthy, on the other side some researchers have proven that consuming sugar in higher portions rather than what our body needs is unhealthy. While some believe that this issue should be taken by the government to control by regulation, I would agree with those who argue that this sugar consumption limitation must be handled by individuals.
6
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
Since a few decades, the majority of countries's governments have invested a large amount of money more in advanced technology than manpower to connect with individuals. They think this solution has greater scope in the future. This essay will support the above statement and provide the reason for it.
<4
band
In the future, it will be harder to live on Earth than before, because it believed that people think they should spend money for researching another planet where they move on, such as Mars. I totally disagree with this opinion
In the future, it will be harder to live on Earth than before, because it believed that people think they should spend money for researching another planet where they move on, such as Mars. I totally disagree with this opinion.
8
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that volunteering ought to be taught in schools. This essay wholeheartedly concurs with that recommendation because it aids students in acquiring crucial work experience while also helping them build soft skills.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In the future, it will be harder to live on Earth than before, because it believed that people think they should spend money for researching another planet where they move on, such as Mars. I totally disagree with this opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?