Although many people value their public parks, this space could be for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Public parks are an attraction for many
people
of different ages to visit, however
, others deem that such
spaces
should be better used to build habitat areas for the rising number of locals or companies to develop the economy of the city. In my view, the presence of amenities like these is essential since it is not only a space where people
can spend their leisure time but also
a conservation of many ecosystems.
Despite its undeniable worth, some people
still hold that sheltering the growing amount of population as well as
developing the local economy by constructing new accommodations or new businesses should be favoured over green spaces
. In other words
, individuals should have plenty of choices when it comes to finding a place to live and have the right to secure good jobs in their cities. For example
, graduated students who just transited
to adult life would prioritise getting work and a convenient settlement without the need to travel away. Verb problem
transitioned
Therefore
, some people
believe that these spaces
could be better used for other purposes.
However
, most locals would crave a place where they can have quality time after a long day at work or break the routine. Overall
, green spaces
provide these
picturesque, scenic, and relaxing views that the city's residents need. Correct determiner usage
the
For instance
, on free days families go out so they can breathe fresh air and recharge after draining workdays. Moreover
, parks usually attract many species that will use it as a shelter from insects such
as butterflies to different types of birds, also
the trees will absorb toxic gases and release oxygen into the air. Consequently
, there are many good reasons why we should protect and value this
kind of facility.
In conclusion, while
it is deemed that residential areas and business buildings must replace the
public parks, I disagree with the above statement and argue that these public resorts are a breather for many ecosystems, namely humans, animals, and plants.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Consider providing a clearer position statement in the introduction and a stronger restatement of your main points in the conclusion.
task response
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on one main idea and that your arguments are more directly related to the prompt. Consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!