IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

One way to solve the problem of congestion is to increase the tax on private vehicles. Do the advantages of this solution outweigh its disadvantages?

#congestion #tax #vehicles
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A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have a congestion tax or not on personal vehicles. In
this
 essay, I am going to analyze the given question from both points of view in terms of merits and demerits and
then
 explain why I believe that imposing a tax proves to be advantageous. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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 hand, There are copious folks who argue that the benefits of VAT on private owners considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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 that traffic congestion on the road is a paramount issue in the current age and people prefer to travel
their
Change preposition
on their
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 own bikes
instead
 of public transport is a significant factor
to rush
Change preposition
in rushing
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 on the roads
in addition
 to
this
, it leads to other crucial cause of concern as there is no denying the fact that traffic incidents are raised in recent years,
as well as
 climate, is changing dramatically, it is vital to have heavy tax on private bikers will lead to a reduction of transports on the highway and advantageous not only for humans but for other natural species. to cite an example, A global study indicated that more than 50% of UK Nationals prefer to take public transport
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own cars because
the
Correct article usage
a
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 heavy penalty has been imposed on their citizens
hence
, a reduction in traffic has been noticed on the roads.
On the other hand
, others believe that it is not a suitable solution to that issue. The government should take crucial measures to sort out the problem by constructing flyovers and tunnel systems and designing street infrastructure in a manner that eases travelling.
otherwise
 imposing a fine system in order to reduce transportation on the road leads to an abundance of problems and disadvantages for businesses and folk.
for example
, Germany is developing new roads under the tunnel and flyover in order to accommodate the heavy transport and denied the imposition of a levy congestion system leads to the demoralizing of the citizens and negative effects on the business and their sales prediction.
Finally
, to recapitulate, I believe both arguments have their own merits and demerits. On balance,
however
, I feel that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should raise awareness among the ethnic people and design their
highways
Fix the agreement mistake
highway
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 infrastructure
that is
 suitable for the general population.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The arguments are not clearly organized, and the response lacks coherence. The essay should follow a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to address the task properly. Ensure that each paragraph discusses one main idea and provides logical connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay provides some relevant points, but the argument is not well-developed. The author should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the ideas to support the arguments effectively. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.
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